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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24879850">Have You Tried Bankai?</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/zabiume/pseuds/zabiume'>zabiume</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>The (Disastrous) Adventures of Inoue and Abarai [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Bleach</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/M, Friendship, i wrote this for me but you can read it if you want, this is kind of crackfic but not really?</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 10:54:47</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>4,005</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24879850</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/zabiume/pseuds/zabiume</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Renji gives Orihime a tour of Squad Six. It could have gone better, but it could have also gone much worse.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Abarai Renji &amp; Inoue Orihime, Abarai Renji/Kuchiki Rukia</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>The (Disastrous) Adventures of Inoue and Abarai [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1883725</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>54</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Have You Tried Bankai?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I don't know where this idea came from or why it did but Renji and Orihime need to be friends ASAP. This is not proof-read but it kind of is. Minor mentions of alcohol towards the end.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Orihime’s apartment smells like cookie dough.</p><p>The warmth of the house, insulated by the smell of sugary bakery items and hot cocoa, with the beautiful blizzard brewing outside makes it the perfect weather for sitting on the porch and indulging in incessant gossip.</p><p>Which is why Rukia hates that Renji is here.</p><p>“Well, it’s not that big of a deal,” Renji says, cradling the cup of cocoa Orihime’s placed in his hands. “It’s just the first time we’ve done this in a while, that’s all.”</p><p>“If it’s not that big of a deal, why are you here?” Rukia snaps. She loves Renji, she really does, but Orihime has something called a ‘part-time job’ now and day passes to the World of the Living are hard enough to come by.</p><p>“Hold on,” Orihime interrupts. She returns from the kitchen and sits with them, cross-legged behind her low table. “I don’t understand; why is Soul Society doing tours, again?”</p><p>“It’s not exactly a tour-tour,” Rukia explains, propping her head in her chin. “It’s more like a college tour.” Ichigo explained to her once that they did those here, in a few universities. </p><p>“Every summer, kids from Shin’o - the Academy - can sign up to come look at the different divisions in the Gotei,” Renji continues. “It’s got an incredibly difficult waitlist to get onto, because we only offer tours to ten students per division, but the basic idea is that they can come take a look at what squads they’d be interested in, so when the fall rolls around they’d be better prepared for where they want to give their recruitment exams.” </p><p>“Wow.” Orihime breathes excitedly, propping her chin up in her hands. “Do students usually get to join the division of their choosing?”</p><p>Renji leans forward, springing into his instructor stance. Rukia smirks; of course the nerd would be more than excited to explain how stuff <i>works</i> in the Gotei. “Well, usually you have to color in which Squad you’d like to join at the end of the exam,” he says. “But that doesn’t guarantee you a place. Some squads are a little more lenient in what kind of students they like to take -- like the Ninth -- but some require higher scores, special abilities suited to the Squad, stuff like that. If you meet the requirements, you can usually join the division of your choosing but if you don’t then you’ll still be taken in, just not to your first choice.” </p><p>“That sounds difficult.” Orihime pouts. “What if you have a hard time deciding which squad you want to join?”</p><p>“You don’t have to choose during your exam,” Renji continues, tugging at his ponytail. “A lot of kids don’t. In fact, I didn’t either. I was undecided so I just gave the exam to the best of my abilities and then, uh, Aizen roped me into his squad, actually. Me and two other close friends of mine.”</p><p>Rukia didn’t know that. She regards him. “You weren’t undecided. You love the Sixth.” </p><p>“I do,” Renji admits. “But my long-term plan was to train in at least one or two squads before I actually headed there.” She rolls her eyes. Trust Renji to have a Forty-Year Plan for something most people just figured out along the way. </p><p>“What about you, Rukia?” Orihime asks curiously. </p><p>Rukia flushes, her stomach squirming tightly. “It works differently for nobles,” she explains. “I didn’t really have to take the exam to graduate and Brother had a place ready for me at the Thirteenth.” </p><p>It’s not something Rukia is ashamed of exactly -- she used to be -- but these days she just wonders if spending the full time at Shin’o would have allowed her to assess and learn things about herself better. Her first few years had just been lonely and distracting and she’d been whipped away overnight before she’d even processed where her feet had landed. It felt like a snatched period of critical growth, but she’s over it. The Thirteenth was a great squad and there’d been all kinds of growth after that, warranted or not. </p><p>“That’s nice,” Orihime says and Rukia is surprised she genuinely means it. Then again, Orihime’s never been one to judge. “I like that there’s no one set way everyone has to join. That way, even the unconventionally talented people have a chance of making it, don’t they?”</p><p>Renji grins. “That’s pretty much how the Eleventh was formed.There’s not a single officer there who took the exam to join. Everyone either fights their way in or takes a transfer from another squad. In fact, I think they’ve solidly been the only division to have the most number of illiterate officers over the years, according to a Twelfth Division survey that came out last year.” </p><p>Rukia watches the dark, muddy remnants of hot cocoa swirl in her cup as she swishes it around. She’s got to do tours this year, too, but she isn’t nearly half as nervous as Renji is. Speaking of, Rukia raises her eyebrows. “Why are you nervous anyway? Haven’t you done this before?”</p><p>“Only once,” he admits. “We didn’t really have the time these last few years, with all the wars and shit. Now that reconstruction’s nearly over, all the Captains took a vote and agreed we’d need more recruits for the coming year so us Lieutenants are stuck with tour duty.”</p><p>“I wish I could come.” Orihime says, a dreamy, distant look in her eyes. Rukia squeezes her hand. She knows Orihime being strapped for cash doesn’t really allow her to stalk off to university like the rest of her friends are thinking of doing, but the girl doesn’t let herself frown for too long. “I’m sure you guys will do a really good job at showing all the young students around.”</p><p>“Naw.” Renji shakes his head. “Our squad usually gets these bratty noble kids -- Kuchiki or otherwise -- being all snobbish like they’ve got dirt under their noses and shit. Usually I can handle them, but the pressure is really on to make our Division look good this year because uh...um.” </p><p>Rukia narrows her eyes at him. “What?”</p><p>“Well, you know.” He waves his hands in front of him and no, she really <i>doesn’t know</i>. “We’ve got to put up a good front, or we’ll never make up for the ones we lost. Usually it’s a chill process but this year it’s important we get our recruitment numbers up.”</p><p>He’s speaking fast, which is a telltale Renji sign he’s lying, but Rukia doesn’t really know how to accost him on it. There’s also certainly the possibility he’s <i>not</i> lying; the Renji she knew back in Inuzuri was really different from the one sitting in front of her. This Renji seemed to actually care about numbers and Squad impressions and shit. Maybe he does actually want to take this seriously, she wouldn’t know. She’s only recently getting to learn about <i>this</i> Renji. </p><p>“I’ve already mapped out our strengths and weaknesses, our appeal and work ethic and other things like that,” Renji says, crossing his arms behind his head and stretching backwards. “The Captain and I made a big portfolio and everything but there’s stuff on there that’s going to bore them for sure and the Captain doesn’t care because ‘the stake of young apprentices’ futures are meant to be taken seriously,” he says this in an eerily accurate Byakuya impression, nose high in the air, eyes half-shut -- “but these kids aren’t gonna give a rat’s ass about the Sixth unless we really hook ‘em in with our best selling points.” </p><p>Rukia feels a little guilty at that. Her own squad’s been on the path to slow recovery, after losing Ukitake and everything, and she thought their progress was going just fine until Renji pulled out the whole We Made A Portfolio. </p><p>“I get what you mean.” Orihime says quietly. Both Renji and Rukia raise her eyebrows at her. She does? “When I got really boring topics during seminars in school I’d have Tatsuki and Uryuu ask me questions I’d already given them so that I’d get to talk about cool points I wanted to emphasize. It really saved me in some nasty pinches, so I offered to do it for them too and we got really good at it.”  </p><p>She shudders at the thought and Rukia has to hide a smile. Only Orihime would refer to a school project as a ‘nasty pinch.’ She regards Renji, so they can share an affectionate look over this, but Renji is frowning. </p><p>“Hold on,” he says. “So they’d ask questions you <i>asked</i> them to ask?” </p><p>“Well, yeah,” she replies. “That’s kind of the idea. That way you get to address everything the teacher wants to hear, but you also get a chance to talk about what <i>you</i> want to say. Win-win.” </p><p>“And you say you’re good at this?”</p><p>Rukia feels mildly horrified now. “Renji, no.”</p><p>“Inoue Orihime, what are you doing this Saturday afternoon?”</p><p>______</p><p>Orihime’s uniform is not exactly form-fitting, but it’s comfortable. The deep red fabric of her pants don’t really go well with her flaming auburn hair, but it fits so that’s a relief. </p><p>
  <i>“Have Yoruichi drop you off at the pick-up point near Shin’O.” Renji had said. “She still owes me a favor, so I’ll see if she can steal a uniform for you from the spare cupboard. If she can’t, you’ll just have to make an excuse for why you don’t have one.”</i>
</p><p>Thankfully that step was easy enough. She’d travelled discreetly to Soul Society with Yoruichi, who’d somehow managed to steal a uniform in her adorably fluffy cat body, before heading back with a promise to pick her up later. The next step was to seamlessly fit in among the horde of students and wait at the Sixth Division station, with the rest of her ‘peers.’ </p><p>“Oh hey,” said this other girl, wearing the same uniform as Orihime. Hers looked a lot better on her, though, seeing as she didn’t have unusually bright hair. “I don’t think I’ve seen you here before? Are you an upperclassman?” </p><p>She remembers Renji’s words. <i>“If anyone asks who you are, lie. Say you’re from the Kanisawa family. It’s not a high noble family, but noble enough to want to seek out the Sixth. Polite, but indifferent. Quiet, but conversational. Try not to stick to anyone for too long and don’t socialize.” </i></p><p>She takes a deep breath and offers her best Ishida Uryuu smile. Not too deep, but deep enough to show that you mean it. It feels weird on her naturally wide and happy mouth, but she thinks she’s pulling it off. “Kanisawa Inoue.” <i> Say you’re a Fourth Year, that’s usually a believable one for a girl your height. </i> “Fourth Year.” </p><p>“Mizuki Tomoyo,” the girl says pleasantly, offering her hand to shake. “Third Year.” She jerks her head towards the crowd where everyone else is standing. “You’re interested in the Sixth?”</p><p>
  <i> Why Sixth? Get creative with this one but don’t go overboard. Most students will be nobility, so they’ll say something like “It’s a family tradition” or whatever. Don’t say that. Don't say anything that'll invite conversation into your heritage.  Don’t sound too sure of your answer, that’ll make you stand out and be memorable. You don’t want that. </i>
</p><p>“”Well, I’ve been teetering between the Fifth and the Sixth, but I heard the group for the Fifth was full,” Orihime explains, rubbing the back of her neck with a sheepish smile. </p><p>“Fifth?” Tomoyo raises an eyebrow. “Bold of you. That was Aizen Sosuke’s old squad, wasn’t it?”</p><p>Cripes. Orihime bites her inner cheek. How could she have forgotten that?! Was that bad? That was definitely bad. </p><p>“I heard the Squad was getting better under the new leadership.” she recovers. </p><p>She thinks about Shinji and his silly haircut and has to bite back a giggle. It never occurred to her just how much she laughed at her own jokes until now. She looks at Tomoyo, who just silently stares at her and then shrugs. </p><p> “Each to their own.” </p><p>Orihime smiles, slowly starting to edge backwards. She’s stayed in this conversation too long and she needs a segue out of it. </p><p>“Attention, all Shin’O students!” the usher announces. “The esteemed Lieutenants of the Gotei are here, at their respective Squad checkposts. Please hold onto your registration ticket and make your way towards your respective Division guide for the day. We will all be meeting back here once again, once the tours end, so please stay with your groups.” </p><p>Orihime scans the crowd. There’s a large, frankly unpleasant looking man digging his nose near the 2nd post. The 3rd one is blonde and thin. He’s talking to a tall, shaggy Lieutenant with a tattoo on his face and a very cool choker on his neck, like one of those scene artists back home. Beside them, to Orihime’s surprise, is Rangiku, waving her arms excitedly at the frightful students. She catches Orihime’s eye and shoots her a wink, before ushering around the students in her own group.</p><p>She gasps suddenly, setting into motion. She was distracted enough by Choker Lieutenant that she almost forgot to look for Renji. He’s standing between Rangiku and another, short lieutenant with neat black hair. She’s about as tall as Rukia, with a cute little bun at the end of her head. Orihime recognizes her vaguely. They’re chatting amiably, Renji elbowing her every now and then.</p><p>She falls in line with the crowd forming around Renji. As he explained, there are nine other students with her. She clutches her ticket tightly and snakes her way to the front of the group. </p><p>“All right,” Renji says, hands on his hips. His eyes catch hers briefly, just enough to lightly raise his lips to a tiny smirk, before shifting to the other students. “We’re gonna wait two more minutes.”  </p><p>Wow, he’s good at this, Orihime thinks, feeling a little bit like a spy. This was so exciting. So cool. </p><p>At the far end of the line is Rukia herself. Orihime raises a hand to wave, then remembers she probably shouldn’t be waving at any Lieutenants. She quickly settles it down and smiles at Tomoyo, who’s looking at her curiously. </p><p> </p><p>______</p><p> </p><p>The Sixth Division is actually very pretty, Orihime thinks. The entire field is a lush spring green, fielded on all sides by beautiful cherry blossom trees. In the middle, officers stand in rows and columns, practicing their sword stances. Some of them spare a glance at the student group, but most of them go about their business, sweat and determination dripping from their faces. The air is nice and cool, frantic with reiatsu. </p><p>"At the Sixth, we value determination and dedication," Renji explains, in a loud and booming voice that's kind of funny. It reminds her of her Gym teacher, though Renji doesn't nearly have the kind of range her teacher did to pull off a walrus moustache. "We like our men and women to earn their merit around here." </p><p>They move past the field and into a little outlet of land that's bare, like a playing ground. "But," Renji says. "We also like to have fun." He waves around the field. "What most of you might not know is that the Sixth has its own epic kickball team that most officers like playing for, when we're not training." </p><p>
  <i> Stall me here. I'll stop for a while and drone on about the squad's history and work ethic. When I'm done, I'll pause for questions. </i>
</p><p>"Like many squads in the Gotei, the Sixth has historically been of combat speciality," Renji explains. "Right from our first captain, Kuchiki Asami, to our current captain Kuchiki Byakuya -- all the captains of the Sixth are some of the most proficient fighters in all of Sereitei. We're relentless, but in a cool way, unlike the noobs over at the Ninth or Eleventh." </p><p>Some students laugh, others cross their arms. </p><p>"So, before we move out of here, anyone got any questions?" </p><p>
  <i>Wait for someone else to go first. The first person to ask questions is usually a try hard. You don't want to do that.</i>
</p><p>"What's with all the cherry blossoms?" A boy to Orihime's left asks. He's shorter than her, probably one of the younger ones. Some of the upperclassmen sniffle at him.<br/>
"Every squad's got its own aesthetic," Renji says. "The cherry blossoms are reflective of our captain and his fierce Senbonzakura, arguably the most efficient bankai among all the captains. Join the Sixth, you'll witness it firsthand and live to tell the tale." </p><p>He grins confidently. Many people 'ooh' and 'aah' and several people fall into hushed whispers of excitement. The mere word 'bankai' is enough to get the students' attention.  </p><p>It dies down after a while, the group falling into a silence, mainly because Renji forgets to say 'any more questions?' like they'd practiced. She takes the cue anyway. </p><p>"Um, Lieutenant Abarai?" Orihime asks, softly. Thankfully it's quiet enough that she doesn't have to raise her voice.</p><p>"Yes, student!" He says loudly. "What is your question?" </p><p>Orihime has to hold herself back from giggling at his obnoxious voice. "Well, I was just wondering if you had any other activities other than kickball that are special to this Squad?" </p><p>"Good question!" He barks. </p><p>This time she really has to laugh, so she brings up her uniform sleeve to cough raucously in it. </p><p>"Our Squad hosts the annual Ikebana festival on our very own grounds," Renji says. "We are the only division other than the Tenth to put up such grandiose displays annually for our hardworking and respect-worthy officers!" </p><p>"Thank you, Lieutenant Abarai." she says lightly, feeling proud of herself for getting that in. </p><p>They move on to the gyms and the mess. Orihime doesn't stop him at the mess -- '<i>because frankly the food is shit'</i> -- but she makes it a point to ask how many officers the gym can hold and whether the equipment is kidou-based as opposed to traditional hakudou equipment -- whatever that means. She nods attentively whenever he raises his voice to answer, making sure to blend into the background at all other times. Some of the other students ask questions, too, which Orihime thinks is incredibly nice. It must feel good to envision yourself somewhere and work towards it. She can almost dupe herself into believing she's a young shinigami at the Academy, falling in love with one of her strong, silent and broody classmates towards the end of the year--</p><p>"Lieutenant Abarai." </p><p>They're in the offices now. Renji's just finished closing the door behind his own fancy-looking office, neat and organized.</p><p>"Yeah?"</p><p>"I've heard from my father, who is of one of the many Kuchiki branch families himself, that the Lieutenants and Captains of this Squad are usually of nobility," a boy says, from the back. Like Renji said, he looks snobbish, his thick nose pointed upwards in the air, arms crossed like he's unimpressed. "I mean it says so on the Insignia -- <i>Noble</i> Reason." </p><p>"Was that a question, kid?" Renji asks, a slight growl in his voice. </p><p>Some of the kids stare nervously at the boy, while others seem to nod in agreement with the line of questioning. </p><p>"I was just wondering how someone of your stature made it here, that's all," he says, coolly, like he isn't really expecting an answer. Like that was the last blow he intended to hit. Orihime feels a surge of anger rush to her ears that she can't really flatten. This wasn’t in the question-answers they’d practiced, but she clenches her fists tight and raises her voice anyway.</p><p>"Lieutenant Abarai!" She exclaims loudly. Several people turn to look at her. </p><p>Renji crosses his eyes, shooting her a look that suggests either <i>'don't do it' </i> or <i>'I'm really constipated right now.'</i> Orihime hopes it's not the latter. </p><p>"I heard you were one of the <i>only</i> Lieutenants with bankai," she soldiers on, confidently. "Is that true?" </p><p>Her companions all fall back into an excited, frenzied rush. Chatter starts up again, the words 'bankai' and 'only' reverberating throughout. Renji raises his eyebrows like he's surprised, having only enough time to close his mouth and stop his jaw from dropping open. </p><p>"That is true, yes," Renji picks up, calmly. "Like I said, Kuchiki-branch," he regards the student who asked the question, towering over him purposefully. "We at Squad Six value hard work. Bankai's part of the package. As for how I passed the exam -- well, I took the test like everyone else." He gives an innocent shrug. "Perhaps I outranked my competitors. You'd have to ask your unseated cousins, I guess." </p><p>BURN! Orihime doesn’t even recall the last time she’s felt so sizzled before and she’s best friends with Tatsuki, Ichigo <i>and</i> Ishida. She pumps the air victoriously in her head. Team Auburn - 1, Brat Mean Kid - 0.</p><p>Renji shoots her a conspiratorial wink, before they begin walking towards the lounge. </p><p>"How did you know?" Tomoyo whispers, grabbing Orihime's sleeve. </p><p>"I, um, I think I read it somewhere, honestly." </p><p> </p><p>The tour comes to a halt after everyone practically <i>begs</i> Renji to show his bankai. He makes a great spectacle of it, and it's nothing Orihime hasn't seen before, but she cheers anyway, bouncing on the balls of her feet. She doesn't know a lot of things but being a supportive friend?<br/>
She's got that locked down. </p><p>______</p><p>“And then she goes, <i>‘Is it true you’re one of the only Lieutenants with bankai?’”</i> Renji exclaims, doing a bad Orihime imitation, sounding more like Yachiru instead. He turns to Rukia. “How has Ichigo not gotten down on one knee for this girl yet?” </p><p>Rukia rolls her eyes. “He’s an idiot, how else?” she says, making grabby hands at the beer Renji’s drinking. He slides it over to her. She takes glass in one hand, slides the other over his own palm settled atop his knee. He intertwines his fingers upside down with hers. </p><p>“That’s kind of cheating, though, Abarai,” Hinamori supplies, squinting her eyebrows at him. “We don’t all have an endless supply of ryoka at our disposal.” </p><p>“Please,” he scoffs. “Kira paid one of his <i>Haiku for Beginners</i> students to write a poem for him. I just had her ask like, two questions.” </p><p>“God, really?” Rukia asks, with concern. “And I thought my snow demonstrations were cool.” </p><p>“I did <i>not</i>, he <i>volunteered</i>.” Kira defends. He turns to Renji. “Why were you so desperate for this to go well, anyway. It’s like the most non-consequential shit ever.”</p><p>Everyone looks at Renji expectantly now. He feels his face flush, so he looks down at his lap, turning Rukia’s hand over in his. “Well, as you all know, I’m going to ask Rukia to marry me this year,” he says weakly, avoiding all their eyes. “I don’t want a single thing to be out of place when I ask her brother for her hand. Even something as small as this.” he finishes quietly. “Besides, it was Inoue who put the idea in my head, really, so…”</p><p>“Oh, Abarai,” Hinamori squeals, making one of her <i>‘Oh Abarai’</i> faces (which was a cross between a sad smile and an excited one).</p><p>“Sap.” Kira teases. </p><p>“Renji, what the hell!” Rukia exclaims, elbowing his chest. “Why didn’t you tell me?”</p><p>“Because you’d find it dumb, dummy,” Renji shot back.</p><p>“Well you have to make it up to both me <i>and</i> Orihime now.” Rukia decides.</p><p>“Why you?”</p><p>“You took away our precious girl talk time!” Rukia says. “And because you totally suck and I hate you for being so cute and considerate about these things, you’re the worst.” </p><p>Renji grins. “Love ya too.” </p><p>He looks down at her, her form curled up against his chest and he can’t stop smiling. </p><p>“Alright, that's enough you two, save it for the wedding!” </p><p>______</p><p>“Abarai.”</p><p>“Yes, sir?”</p><p>“Did you really presume I would not notice that you brought the ryoka girl into the tour group yesterday?”<br/>
…<br/>
<i> “Abarai.”</i></p><p>“Well, she’s going to die one day anyway, so I figured I’d give her an early tour?”<br/>
…</p>
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